When my 12 year old daughter addressed me with,” Mother, we need to talk.” I knew something was in the wind that would cost me, how much was the question. Ashlie the said 12 year old, never calls me Mother without a motive, its usually Mom or Mommy; Mother always came with a price tag. “OK, what’s up, kid-o and what’s it going to cost?”  “Well Mother, this is going to make money, we are going to have a cupcake sale.”  “Oh really, and just who are we talking about?” As if I didn’t know, it would be Emily, Taylor and Jasmine, her BFF’s who coincidently are the daughters of my best friends, Sophie, Kelly and Jada.  We have been best friends since junior high and our daughters have followed suit. I knew that this conversation was being played out at each of their kitchens as we speak.  “And when do you plan on this bake sale, let me guess, Saturday, right?” Well it’s Wednesday night, so that’s a little better than the usual “tomorrow”. “It will be easy, we just need to buy some box mixes and that frosting in the can, and make about, oh I don’t know, how about 6 or 7 dozen.”  I knew I was being played like a fiddle, Ashlie knows that I NEVER use a box mix for anything, I have a reputation at stake, after all I was the Baking Queen of Anaconda, Montana, or at least that’s what I call myself. The fix was in and I knew it, but before I could call anyone Sophie call me.  “Cupcakes, huh, you up to it?”  “Do we really have a choice?  “No, I’ll call Jada you call Kelly, set it up for Friday night my place, 6-ish.” “Oh, Mother, one other thing, can you call Mr. Barns and see if The Spot is open?

The Spot is the near legendary location in front of The Burns Bank, used by every origination in town for everything from bake sales to selling raffle tickets to politicos trying to get you vote. It has an awning that’s keeps the sun off of you in summer the rain off in fall and the snow of in winter; it was The Place, always in demand. Calling up Mr. Fred “Freddy” Burns was not a problem, I’ve known him since junior high as well, So I did my motherly duty and made the call, as luck would have it the spot was going to be empty on Saturday, and with the added inducement of a couple of cupcakes with his name on then we were set to go. Let me tell you a little bit about my friends: we are all divorced mothers of the same age, same attitudes and are owners of small businesses and most importantly we are raising near-teen daughters who are as thick as thieves. Just like we were and are now. Funny how that happens. The daughters henceforth referred to as THE GIRLS, as opposed to my friends, known as THE LADIES, just too clear things up, for you.


Well we get together every month of so, as time and duties allow, just to blow off steam and have a hoot-and-a-holler, if you know what I mean. When it comes to food related happenings, they tend to end up at my place, owing to the fact that I have the biggest and best appointed kitchen, and I guess that I run a catering business, makes me the resident chef, of sorts. That’s not to say that Sophie and Jada aren’t good cooks because they are, and Kelly, well Kelly usually brings the refreshments. Friday night arrived in a flurry shopping and prepping, you’d have thought I was getting ready for the Duke and Duchess stopping by. The ladies new the drill, each would be bringing extra cupcake pans,

bowls and an electric hand mixer or two. The girls knew well enough to stay out of the kitchen and busy themselves making decorations for the sale. First to arrive was Kelly and Taylor, each holding two reusable grocery bags (yes, we are ecologically sensitive out here in the boonies), filled with refreshments. The girls get diet soda and the ladies get wine (yeah!). Moments later Sophie and Emily trooped in with bags of flour and sugar. Jada and Jasmine arrived with baking pans of various sizes and we were ready to bust out several dozen cupcakes. The first decision was what kind of cupcakes to make? We decided on going with the simple, tried and true. Vanilla cupcakes with Vanilla buttercream frosting, Chocolate cupcakes with Dark Chocolate frosting, Red Velvet cupcakes with Sour cream frosting and Dark Chocolate cupcakes with Maple/Bacon frosting, they are Freddy Burns favorite and a “must Have” at any event at The Spot at his bank.

We ladies have done this before and knew our assigned tasks, so we jumped right in to the morass, hazarding to dog of war. Of course Kelly had the single most important duty, open the wine and keep it flowing, I manned the standup mixer (an industrial silver KITCHENAID KSM8990DP NSF 8 qt.  Professional, strap this thing to the back of a bass-boat and you could water ski), Jada ladled the batter in to the cups (using a well-worn ice cream scoop, that has filled thousands of cupcake cups over the years) and Sophie attacked the frostings with the detached efficacy of a hired assassin, only she looks good in a pair of sling-backed JIMMY CHOO’S. As the evening progressed, so did the mountain of cupcakes, we originally were going to bake 6 dozen, but the fun, gossip and yes the wine left us with 10 dozen. Good God, how did we end-up making 120 cupcakes! How are we going to sell 120 cupcakes? The ladies and I were just cleaning the last of the pots and pans when the Girls came in to the kitchen. Proudly showing us the banner that they had made “Evens Street Girls Club Summer Fund”. They had been lessening to us as we were baking and had overheard us tell the story about our cookie sale when we were their age, they even used the same name we had used. Pretty smart. When we realized that they were following in our footsteps there was a neat electric current flowing between us, and I’m pretty sure it was more than just the wine.   The next morning we were setting up at The Spot, Sophie and Jada and I were a little worst for the ware but Kelly was bright-eyed and bushy tailed and a squirrel.  And in keeping to her designated hitter status and refreshments coordinator she had 3 HAMILTON BEACH BrewStation Urn-40514 set up and ready to go one serving high-test caffeinated, one with decaff and one with hot water for hot cocoa. She also had the cup and sugar stuff, (pink, blue, yellow and white packets) the lady knows how to set up for a crowd. Believe me when I say the as far as we were concerned, that coffee way truly sent from heaven. Freddy Burns strolled out to claim his Maple/Bacon cupcakes and a hot coffee and shot the breeze. The girls maintained that fake maturity that pre-teen girls do so well. The sale was a huge success, we sold out by 11:00, the girls were over the top excited, they didn’t even complain when we handed them big green trash bags and told them they had to make sure there was not a single cup, wrapper, napkin or stirrer anywhere in the parking lot. One of the rules regarding the use of The Spot is simple, like hiking in the wilderness, you-bring-it-in-you-take-it-out. One year a person running for city council left a mess, word got out and she lost by a landslide. We all packed-up and headed for lunch. Naturally the girls wanted to go to Gallicano’s Pizzeria but we were calling the shots and chose The Classic Café. Everybody got what they wanted, The Classic Cafes pizzas are fantastic and their hamburgers and wraps are how Montana cattle dream they will end up, and the Montana micro-brew beers are the best in the state. All-in-all it was a great day, the girls earned some “walking around money” and showed us they were not afraid of working to earn it, or as Jada said “They weren’t afraid of letting us work for them.” It was one of those day that are mad better with close friends and family, the memories of growing up in a small town, where summers were long, hot, slow and filled with memories that will last a life time. That’s what it is all about, don’t ya think.

Cindy Bingham,

Contributing Correspondent (Montana bureau)


Nick Stellino the ever­smiling and effervescent Italian­American chef and author and host of some of CreateTVs must popular cooking shows. He hosts the cooking programs Cucina Amore and Nick Stellino’s Family Kitchen on public television. Nick was born and raised in Palermo, Italy, a city rich in culture, music and culinary tradition. Life there was good and he was surrounded by family. But from early childhood, Nick dreamed of moving to America. In 1975, at the age of 17, he achieved that goal. The move was a dream come true wrapped in a series of challenges, but Nick had always loved America, and a good challenge. By the late 1980s, he had built a successful career as a stockbroker, but in1991, he decided to leave his career on Wall Street in order to follow his dream of becoming a chef. He apprenticed with the best Italian chefs in America, including Celestino Drago at Drago Restaurant, rated by Food & Wine magazine as one of the 10 best restaurants in the country. Stellino currently hosts his own TV show, as well astouring as a celebrity chef.  Nick has made guest appearances on news and talk shows including ABC’s Good Morning America, NBC’s Today and The Oprah Winfrey Show, as well as on Italian Television. He has been featured in publications including The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, Bon Appétit, The Magazine of La Cucina Italiana and Robb Report.

Chef and cookbook author Nick Stellino celebrates his 20th year on public television with a brand­new lifestyle series, Cooking With Nick Stellino. Each episode opens with Nick visiting some of his favorite grocers, butchers, cheese makers and fishmongers. While on location, he happily shares his tips and tricks for selecting the ideal ingredients and the best culinary tools for the everyday cook. After each shopping trip, Nick returns to his sparkling new set, modeled after his own home kitchen. With the home cook in mind, he prepares elegant yet easily recreated

recipes — from savory soups to authentic pasta and rice dishes to delectable desserts — in step-by ­step fashion. With his signature charm, warmth and humor, he also shares easy plating techniques and other professional tips to help viewers turn their homes into their favorite

restaurant. Nick is an active supporter of the American Red Cross. Each year, he prepares the menu for the Red Cross annual Red Tie Affair dinner in Santa Monica, Calif. He also spends months raising increasingly large donations for the organization. In 2011, the Red Cross recognized his efforts with the Tiffany Award for the Most Humanitarian Chef. At the heart of Nick’s personal style are creativity, humor, a belief in the importance of good manners and the value of hard work. His accomplishments are many and varied: He has taught vampires how to cook. Nick was seen showing how to prepare an Italian dish in the hit movie Twilight. He can build his own watch. An avid watch collector, Nick jumped at the chance to assemble his own watch at the Maurice Lacroix factory in Switzerland. The exclusive Couture Time Jury Prize Awards asked Nick to be a juror for their American Watch Competition Awards in Las Vegas and to announce the winners. He designs his own clothes. His unique “bespoke” style was featured in an exclusive photo shoot and interview with Astor & Black Custom Clothiers. Stellino is the author of several cookbooks, which include the following: Cucina Amore

Nick Stellino’s Glorious Italian Cooking

Nick Stellino’s Mediterranean Flavors

Nick Stellino’s Family Kitchen

Nick Stellino’s Passione: Pasta, Pizza, Panini Mangiamo! Let’s Eat! Dine In

Nick Stellino’s Cooking with Friends 1 and 2

Cooking with Nick Stellino 1 and 2


                                      NICK STELLINO

Celeb of the month for October 2015

Memorial Day’s fun food: pig roasts, brews, ice cream and hot dogs

Flagship Brewing Company




Tuesday, May 17, 2016, 6:47 PM

No need to feel left out if you don’t have a backyard or a grill to fire up this Memorial Day weekend . There are plenty of public parties and outdoor fairs to grab burgers and beer in the open air. Head to one of these spots around the boroughs to ring in the unofficial start of summer.

Brooklyn Pig Roast

(Friday, May 27, 6 p.m., The Hall Brooklyn, 470 Driggs Ave., Brooklyn)

A $40 ticket at this Williamsburg venue buys revelers the pig roast platter and general admission. Award-winning chef Michael Psilakis offers sides of kimchi, bacon fried rice, grits and collard greens. Happy hour (6-7 p.m.) kicks things off with drink specials, and the band Wood, Wires & Whiskey performs Brooklyn twang.

Bobby Flay, Giada De Laurentiis share simple summer BBQ recipes

Sunnyside Gardens Park Annual Memorial Day Fair

(Saturday, May 28, noon to 5:30 p.m., 48-21 39th Ave. Queens)

Fairgoers can expect traditional summer fare at this annual Memorial Day event. Burgers, beef hot dogs, veggie burgers, pasta salads and mac and cheese are on the menu as is Queens’ perennial favorite, Italian ices from The Lemon Ice King of Corona. Adults can buy wine and beer, including beer from Queens craft brewer SingleCut.

Little screams summer more than ice cream and Ample Hills Creamery opens a kiosk in Queens.


Nest Music Conservatory Inc. Open House

(Saturday, May 28, at 2 p.m; and Sunday, May 29, at 4 p.m.; 3636 Holland Ave., the Bronx)

A new community center in the Williamsbridge area of the Bronx, Nest Music Conservatory Inc., where children will be able to learn about music and art, is celebrating its arrival with an open house. Free food will be served, including jerk chicken, cheese and crackers and fruit.

Craft Beer and Hot Dog Showdown

Nathan’s celebrates 100th anniversary with 5-cent hot dogs

(Sunday, May 29, noon to 2 p.m., Stuyvesant Cove Park, 23rd St. and Ave. C, Manhattan)

A $40 ticket allows unlimited chowing down on gourmet hot dogs and two craft beers. Choices include “She’s Gone Nuts” with honey sriracha mayo, pickled cabbage, peanuts, and cilantro.

You can still get the NYC street standard on just about any corner but for a special twist on an old dog, consider the Craft Beer and Hot Dog Showdown at Stuyvesant Cove Park.


Flagship Brewing Company Fleet Week Music Festival

(Sunday, May 29, noon to 8 p.m., 40 Minthorne St., Staten Island)

Music at the free festival includes Tom Cintula & The Buffalo 24, Bare Bones and Queen Tipsy. A documentary, “I am Number…,” about the 1969 selective service draft lottery runs on a loop. Food from Moe’s Southwest Grill, City Boy BBQ and more will be for sale and the brewing company’s Flagship Metropolitan Lager and Flagship Dark Mild are on tap.

Ample Hills Creamery Opening

(Monday, May 30, noon to 8 p.m., Riis Park Beach Bazaar, 16702 Rockaway Beach Blvd., Queens.)

Ample Hills Creamery — the Food Network’s No. 1 rated ice cream shop and Zagat’s No. 1 rated in New York City — is opening its Rockaway Beach kiosk on Memorial Day. This season’s flavors include: Ooey Gooey Butter Cake and Nonna D’s Oatmeal Lace



I’ve noticed Rick Bayless everywhere lately on television and in magazines. He’s considered the leading chef of Mexican cuisine in Chicago and probably the nation and the chef at Frontera Grill and Topolobampo in Chicago.

I tried each of his restaurants once. And the food was great, but I never went back.

Something just bugged me that a white guy was gaining so much fame for his Mexican cuisine. I’m sure his love of Mexico is genuine and he does good charity work. I’m not saying he’s a bad guy, and he is a great chef. But why does the media make him the spokesman for Mexican food in the United States?

You can accuse me of being too politically correct. But how would the French feel if their premier chef celebrated by the media in France wasn’t French at all?

I think it would annoy  them too.

Bayless was recently on one of my favorite shows, Top Chef Masters, and he won his cook off by making tongue tacos with a green sauce. Now I kinda think it was an easy win since the challenge was to use icky pig and cow parts to make street food.  The chefs had to work with tongue, intestines, heart or pig ears. Three of the four tried to make Mexican dishes, including the French chef Ludo Lefebvre, who tried making pig ear quesadillas. Eww!

It was a no brainer that Bayless would make tacos. Of course he’d win. He was featured in an issue of Time Out  Chicago last summer. The reporter followed Bayless around Chicago as he stopped in taquerías in Chicago’s Pilsen neighborhood.

The story had a weird tone kinda like watch the white guy hang out in the barrio and judge whether the food measures up to real Mexican food. My main point is there also has to be a way to celebrate some of the great Mexican and Latino chefs here in the city of Chicago. If we’re honest we know that there are Mexican men and women working in just about every restaurant kitchen in Chicago no matter what the cuisine. But they aren’t the actual chefs.

I’m going to list a few of the great Mexican-run restaurants and Latino chefs in the Chicago area that I’ve tried and I think should get more attention. Please send me your recommendations too. Xni-Pec, 5135 W. 25th St., Cicero. 708-652-8680.  You have to go out to the suburb of Cicero but it’s worth the drive. This restaurant specializes in cuisines from the Yucatan part of Mexico and is owned by Antonio and Maria Contreras from Cozumel, Mexico. Start with the vaporcitos, a Yucatan-style chicken tamale wrapped in a banana leaf and the empanadas made of ground beef, corn and mushroom or potatoes.  The platillo de cochinita is a delicious meat pork marinated in achiote and onion, and camaron al ajillo, is their mother’s recipe for shrimp marinated in two different chiles, garlic and herbs. They
have a bell at the door, and if you like the food you ring it on the way out.

May Street Café, 1146 W. Cermak Ave., Chicago. 312-421-4442. Only open for dinner. This place is located on an almost deserted strip of Cermak in Pilsen. The executive chef is Mario Santiago and the partner chef is Guadalupe Aguilar. This is more Nuevo Latino gourmet seasonal food with Mexican, Puerto Rican and Cuban influences. Worth trying are the brie and pear quesadillas and salmon with lemon butter and chipotle-tequila cream sauce. One time I was there I had a paella-inspired special served in half of a pineapple. Carnicería Guanajuato, 1436 N. Ashland Ave., Chicago. 773-772-5266. This place is really a grocery store but like many it has a counter where they sell what I call Vitamin T – tacos and tortas. I love the tortas here especially the chicken, which is slow cooked in a tomato sauce, and the fluffy white bolillo bread is doused in cream, avocado
and refried beans. They also have good burritos and tacos de carnitas. Filed under: food, Mexico

Tags: Carniceria Guanajuato, Frontera Grill, May Street Cafe, racism, Rick Bayless, Top Chef Masters, Topolobampo, Xni-Pec

By Teresa Puente


                  The August Moon Ball returns​

The traditional annual event is being held again at Verdala Palace on Saturday, August 6.

The 16th century palace is a magical setting for this enjoyable evening, all for a good cause. Funds collected will go towards the Malta Community Chest Fund, which is a charitable foundation chaired by the President, currently Marie-Lousie Coleiro Preca. Its aim is to help philanthropic institutions and individuals with different needs.

Patrons will get to dine under the moon in the gardens of the palace which overlook a good part of Malta. A lavish meal will be served, accompanied by fine wines.

This year, those attending will be entertained by the Brass House Unit, under the direction of Mro Kevin Abela.


August Moon Ball Malto

August Moon Festival in Quicy

QUINCY – In about two weeks, an estimated 12,000 people will line the streets of Quincy Center for a local cultural tradition.
The Quincy August Moon Festival, in its 27th year, is one of the biggest outdoor cultural events on the South Shore. The festival spans the 1400-1600 blocks of Hancock Street for six hours on a Sunday afternoon each year. This year’s event is from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 17, with the rain date set as the following Sunday, Aug. 24.

Because the festival gets bigger each year, organizers have added a second area where the festival will be held. The addition, which will have a second stage area for performances, amusement rides and a dunk tank, will be along Ross Parkingway, between Hancock Street and Hannon Parkway. The festival features activities for everyone, including tradition dance, cultural performances, drums, singing, poetry, an international food court and food trucks. The South Shore YMCA is running crafts an games for children, as well as health-promoting activities for people of all ages.

Quincy Asian Resources, the event host, will provide voter registration information and tips and guidelines for how to handle the American flag as part of its civic participation initiative. Because of the anticipated crowd, organizers suggest that attendees take the T to Quincy Center for the event. There will be parking in two free municipal lots on either side of Hancock St., but the parking will be limited.
This year’s festival sponsor is South Cove Community Health Center, but there are more than 300 volunteers who help make the festival a reality.

Festival proceeds will go toward Quincy Asian Resources’ programs and services. Quincy Asian Resources, established in 2001, is a nonprofit that offers adult education and youth programs, bilingual social services and free legal clinics. Their mission is to develop and improve the cultural, economic, social and civic lives of Asian Americans and their families in order to benefit Quincy and its neighboring communities.

By Cody Shepard


12 Humorous and Funny Christmas Poems to Chuckle, Chortle and Cackle by

These funny Christmas poems range from slightly serious to hilariously humorous to sincerely silly. So see yourself warned

Besides the obvious goal of you having fun with them and enjoying yourself, we hope that you will consider each of to be a very different Christmas poem!If you’re like us, your mind is probably bursting with questions regarding good old Santa.Like for instance:

  • The first obvious one is, Is Santa Real?

  • Do you think Santa could have a racy life?

  • Do you think he might have some things to hide … besides presents of course?

  • Could Santa by any chance be a sexy hunk? (If this was the case that wouldn’t be too bad now, would it?)

  • Do you think Santa could have trivial problems like other people? (Or could they be even worse than those all we normal boring people face? After all, Santa is a well-known celebrity. Perhaps we will never know as reporters are ‘airily’ challenged and can not find a way to follow Santa in this reindeer slipstream on his yearly route, and take pictures for the press.

We hope to satisfy your curiosity here. Some of these humorous Christmas poems will hopefully shed some light on that dark and mysterious North Pole.

Enough babbling for now, following are some hilarious Christmas poems about Santa:

No. 1 … Funny Christmas Poem about the Green Nosed Reindeer

The first one is from our silly Christmas poems selections.

The poem takes invites us to the North Pole to see a predicament Santa has with Rudolph, his lead sleigh reindeer. However, as you will see this predicament turns out to be quite a blessing in disguise.

Rudolph the snot nosed reindeer had a terribly bad cold
His rosy red nose had turned green one hundred and one multifold
Then one morn’, sweet Santa said to him,
‘Rudolf with your nose green, you’d better stay in’
Leaving a trail of green snotty slime
Rudolf the reindeer shuffled back to his pine
While he was dreaming of strange green bells
Suddenly he was awakened by Santa yelling ‘Hell’
Gratefully leaving his green bell choir
What he discovered was Santa’s house afire
Quickly he ran into the house
All grey with smoke just like a mouse
All was dark and confusion and terror
What was needed was a courageous torchbearer
And finally his nose, no longer a misfit
Shining and green as an emergency exit
Everyone escaped out into the cold
And this was how green turned to the value of gold
~ ~

No. 2 … Falling in Love with Santa
– Christmas Love Poems

Well, is Santa sexy?

Is that a relative question?

Or is open mindedness needed to view Santa as sexy. Fortunately love doesn’t care about sexiness and looks are relative!

Here is one of the Christmas love poems that insinuates that Santa might actually be one sexy hunk!

All this woman really wants for Christmas is Mr. Santa Claus himself!

Here is the poem for Christmas that may … or may not … leave us all wet and drooling with desire for sexy Santa:

I was sitting on Santa’s lap
And I looked into his eyes
Santa turned me on that day
Much to my surprise.

Warm and sexy
Soft and pink
Infatuated I was
With just an eyewink

He did not know, he could not tell
How he affected me that day
This year I will be impatient till
I can see him again that very way.

Hurry, hurry next Christmas time
Relieving me from my mental morass
Again I will sit on his lap all red
And ask him ‘could I please have you for Christmas?’
~ ~

 No. 3 … a Slightly Disconcerting Poem about Christmas

O.K., Santa seems to be having real trouble at the North Pole this year. It seems that all is going haywire there.

We don’t know how Santa will handle all of this.

This is one of the funny Christmas poems that go inside the North Pole to see what is really happening at this season. As it appears, we are not the only ones feeling stressed out by Christmas.

Brace yourself, this is a true Christmas drama:

Santa is having trouble this year.
It is crazy at the North Pole.
Santa feels ill, has a pain in his rear.
Wondering if he can take the reindeers out for their stroll.

Rudolph wants to grow a big, manly beard.
All around his bright red nose.
Santa is afraid his deer beard will look weird.
Like a great big bush with one giant rose.

Mrs. Santa as well is not feeling swell.
Saying to Santa ‘Stay home you should’.
Abandon your route, stay home and dwell.
Retire from your Christmas ride for good!

Trouble is hard on poor Santa Clause.
He is stressed to the point of crying.
He feels like a drink but cannot because,
Drinking and driving will not go while flying.

Will there be Christmas without Santa?
No prancing on the roof? No jingle bell joy?
No presents, no songs, no cheer and no hoo-ha?
We hope Santa will be strong for the girls and boys.
~ ~

 No. 4 … To Do or not to Doo That Is the Question

This is poem is completely silly, even ridiculous. But we thought we would throw it in anyway:

If Christmas is to children
What my job is to me,
Does that mean I should go to my boss
And sit upon his knee?
~ ~

 No. 5 … a Mysterious Different Poem

This funny Christmas poem is funny if you look at it at it from a humorous angle.

It is also quite strange if you look at it from an angle where you expect meaning and logic, because really, there is none.

Read and see for yourself:

Funny Christmas Jokes Game: Guess The Punchline!

Red ribbons in her hair and what she wears,Green lipstick on her big, full lips,Fire in her eyes, oh yes, she dares.Girl in the world,Girl in your life,Not at home, full of strife.Is she lost? Is she found?Is she just playing around?She is the Christmas girl astound.She is warm, she is cold.She is looking for Santa’s gold.She’s a girl of opportunity.Gold bells in her ears,Tattoos on her breasts,Free spirit, oblivious to the rest.Her heart is warm; her heart is cold,She just wants Santa’s gold.She is the Christmas girl, so we’re told.She is up, she is down.She roams over the town.She has something up her sleeve.She approaches Santa’s elves,They turn away, turn around.Behind their backs Santa’s gold is found.Now she is gone, gold in hand,Buying a ticket to sunny beaches’ sandGoodbye Christmas girl!~ ~

No. 6 … about Toy Elmo

If you have ever heard an Elmo toy laugh, you know what this one is about.

Elmo’s laugh is absolutely obnoxious. That must be why kids love him 😉

Surely it is not a way the kids are getting back at their parents, or parent, is it?

Surely not, our kids are sweet and innocent, right? Sure!

Here is what happens to Elmo, at the desperate hands of parents:

Toy Elmo got drunk on Christmas Day.
His laugh drove everyone nuts.
We got the battery out of him so fast
In a manner of speaking, we tore out his guts.
~ ~

No. 7 … Slightly Serious Drinking Poem

Have you held a family Christmas gathering just wishing yourself far, far away.Well, you recognize this feeling perhaps, despite of your Christmas resentment, you might enjoy this different Christmas Poem:Looking through the window on Christmas mornI see the family Christmas crowd.Molly, Aunt Sarah, Bob and Norm.Unloading their car while singing out loudI come down the stairs all smiles and jolly,Inviting them in and being all nice.What did I do to deserve this folly.Please, could I just reroll the dice.What if I tell them what I really think?That Molly is ugly and Aunt Sarah really stinks.That the food is cold and I just want a drink.However, I can’t – I’m frozen like a sphinx!Emotionally in Hell but I will be nice.Laugh and talk with everybodyTrying to be sweet as sugar and spice.But my mind is still on my toddy.Toddy me here, toddy me there, toddy me everywherePlease, can I just be meI do not want to adhereReally I just want to fleeBlissfully soon chatter is hazyThe wine is doing its thingI’m drunk, happy, perhaps a bit crazyMy mind says goodbye and goes ding-a-ling~ ~

No. 8 … of the Type Short Christmas Poem

This funny Christmas poem is a take off from a very sad Christmas song. However, do not let that dampen your ability to relate to this poem.

It is bound to apply to someone, even if you don’t completely understand it.

Who said poetic mystery was a bad thing anyway!:

I will be gone on Christmas,
You can count on that.
There is no place like home on Christmas
Especially if you’re married to a dingbat.
~ ~

No. 9 … Sexy and Humorous Poem

House cats sometime climb up into a Christmas tree. It is really inconvenient when the tree topples over into the living room rug when the house cat climbs your beautifully decorated Christmas tree!

It gets to the point of not being able to tolerate it when the tree is a live tree.

How many needles could be on one tree, or on one living room floor?

Here is a funny Christmas poem about a person wanting to climb into the family Christmas tree, not for the fun of crawling but for the shame of, well, shagging:

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree
Hide me in your branches.
My face is red; I was caught in bed
With a stranger named Frances (or Francis).
~ ~

No. 10 … Food, Food, Food

How could we have a batch of Funny Christmas poems without a poem about food? Everyone knows that one of the synonyms for Christmas is food! At Christmas most have a spread similar to Thanksgiving.

However, and this is important to the taste buds, there are usually more sweets at Christmas than at the Thanksgiving meal, and beyond, into the night. Not to mention eating leftovers all the next day.

I have not heard of Thanksgiving cookies. I have definitely heard the term Christmas cookies. Some, or maybe even most, of us have overindulged in Christmas cookies. You must overindulge, if you are to taste at least one of each kind!

Here is a funny Christmas poem about the highlight of Christmas, eating:

Eat up, it is Christmas time, food is going amok:
Turkey, peas, potatoes, and dressing perhaps even a duck.
It’s OK, eat away:
Corn, gravy, cranberries, ham.
Eat up, it is Christmas day:
Salad, rolls, butter and jams.

Eat up, it is Christmas time:
Chips, bean dip, carrots, peas.
You must do it, it is the season.
Grape juice, milk, teas and coffee.
You can not refuse; there is no reason:
Cake, gum, chocolate, candy.

The year is ending, never fear.
New Years Eve will soon be here
All resolutions will be listed in play.
A diet awaits you the very next day.
~ ~

No. 11 … The Month Before Christmas!

Twas the month before Christmas when all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying nor taking a stand.

Why the Politically Correct ‘Police’ had taken away,
All of the reasons for Christmas – no one could say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a “Holiday”.

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing and shoving and raving to get it!

CDs from musicians, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!

Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets are hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas – was no where to be found.

At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under your “Dream Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holiday!
~ Funny Poem about Christmas ~

No. 12 … A Politically Correct Christmas Poem by Harvey Ehrlich

‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck …
How to live in a world that’s politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to “Elves”,
“Vertically Challenged” they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened.”

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she’d enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific.

No candy or sweets…they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

No baseball, no football…someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.

So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you’ve got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere…even you.
So here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth…
“May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth.”


A fine dining chef gave up a restaurant career for marijuana-plant-to-table cuisine

“I remember the first time I smoked OG Kush,” chef Holden Jagger says. “I thought it tasted like Mexican food.”

The 32-year-old chef is prepping for a dinner party, perched over the stove browning pears in a cast iron pan slick with duck fat. It’s a familiar task for Jagger, who spent six years — under the name Holden Burkons; he now uses his middle name, Jagger, as his last — working pastry stations under chef Tom Colicchio at Craft and Curtis Stone at Maude, as well as a long stint at Soho House, the members-only celebrity haunt on Sunset Boulevard. The smell of marijuana lingers in the kitchen, left over from cold-smoking shallots with a cannabis variety called In the Pines, which the chef cultivates in his garden partly for its strong notes of citrus, apple and, yes, pine.

The shallots are destined for dinner’s first course of caviar with smoked crème fraîche and pumpernickel shards, and the caramelized pears on the stove will find their way into a cheese course where tiny nuggets of burrata are dressed with a single pickled marijuana leaf that has been salt curing in his pantry since August.

At this marijuana dinner, it’s not the food that will get you stoned. When cannabis appears in a dish, it’s intended solely for flavor, aromatics — and sometimes theater. When those artfully tweezered bites of burrata and pear hit the table, they arrive under a glass dome filled with cannabis smoke. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a cloche in a fancy restaurant, you know what happens next: The dome is lifted, a puff of aromatic smoke is dispersed, and dinner is served.

Welcome to the world of bespoke culinary cannabis, where fine dining’s playbook is re-imagined for the moneyed marijuana enthusiast. In Bel-Air dining rooms and Venice gardens, chefs with serious pedigrees are serving multi-course meals where cannabis is either infused or paired with food.

It’s been almost a year since Jagger launched Altered Plates, the name of both his chef-grown cannabis dinners and his forthcoming Web series. A seat at one of his dinners will cost you $500, a price that includes a five-course meal, wine pairings and a pre-rolled joint to go with every dish.

As is customary in luxury dining, at the end of the night guests take home parting gifts from the kitchen, but instead of a pastry, they leave with cannabis-laced caramel corn and custom blended teas that feature a mix of tea and cannabis leaves, and a THC-spiked sugar cube complete with dosing instructions. The dinners, which are smallish — eight to ten guests — are held in private homes.

A weed sommelier is referred to as a ganjier, and Jagger plays this role too. Before a dish of braised quail with pomegranates and delicate squash, he instructs his diners to take a terpene pull, which means inhaling on the unlit joint to experience the aromatic compounds, or terpenes, found in the essential oils of the herb. “This fresh bud almost has a 7-Up quality to it,” he says of the joint, which is rolled with a variety called Wish Mountain, “but at the same time it’s got notes of cherry, toasted nuts and citruses.”

At chef Holden Jagger’s marijuana dinner it’s not the food that will not get you stoned. When cannabis appears in a dish, it is intended solely for flavor, aromatics, and sometimes theater. (Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)

Part of the appeal of Jagger’s dinners is that he is also the farmer, and he’s quick to brand his crop with buzzwords such as “sun-grown,” “organic” and “sustainable.” The logic, of course, is that if you’re the kind of person who shops at farmers markets and gets excited when you see the words Scholium Project on a wine list, you probably want to know where and how your weed is grown. At an Altered Plates dinner you know it comes from a steep, southeast-facing slope in the Santa Monica Mountains, and if you ask, Jagger will tell you about his no-till approach, his custom blend of inoculated soil and the foraged kelp he harvests for his garden beds to keep the worms happy.

Ultimately, Jagger’s goal is to de-stigmatize cannabis by incorporating the plant and its effects into luxury dining, and he’s not alone. In Venice, Aaron Ziegler, who was once executive chef for Wolfgang Puck’s catering arm, hosts seven- to nine-course infused dinners in his backyard under the banner of his culinary events company Bull & Dragon.

Chef Chris Sayegh, a veteran of Mélisse and Providence who calls himself The Herbal Chef, advertises multi-course cannabis events where diners pay $200 to $500 per person for their meal. And Andrea Drummer, an alum of the Ritz-Carlton in Downtown L.A., is hosting cannabis dinners through her collective, Elevation VIP. “This isn’t smoking weed and eating Cheetos,” Ziegler says of the dinners. “It’s a curated experience.”

A seat at one of Holden Jagger’s dinners will cost you $500, a price that includes a five-course meal, wine pairings and a pre-rolled joint to go with every dish. (Jay L. Clendenin / Los Angeles Times)

The image of pot brownies and junk food is tough for marijuana users to shake, and no matter how many locavore chefs wave the cannabis flag, the reality is that stoners do love Funyuns and Pop-Tarts, and they are both more accessible and more affordable than hamachi with yuzu and chicories.

But every movement needs a dreamer, and right now Jagger hopes to use his platform to rebrand cannabis as both an ingredient and a socially acceptable inebriant. “If you’re a wine enthusiast, you don’t get called an alcoholic,” he says, “and I’m not a pothead.”

While the city of Denver recently passed a proposition paving the way for social use in bars and restaurants, California’s recently passed Proposition 64 does not allow public consumption — so you won’t be receiving a cannabis menu with your wine list anytime soon. For now, culinary cannabis in Los Angeles will stay behind closed doors, which, let’s face it, is probably part of the appeal.

Guest article by

Gillian Ferguson



                              CAFE LIFE VENICE 

The Cafe Life series takes you to its third Italian city La Serenissima (the Most Serene Republic) with “Cafe Life Venice”. Like predecessors “Cafe Life Rome” and “Cafe Life Florence”, it explores a select group of family-run establishments. However, because Venice moves to the stroke of its very own gondola paddle (voga), you’ll be drinking less coffee, eating less gelato and sipping more wine. This may be good news to some of you.The Venetians do love their wine, and you’ll see them loving it at almost any time of day in one of the city’s many bacari. The bacaro is a cross between a cafe and a wine bar, where you’ll find locals knocking back an ombra (Venetian for glass of wine) and eating cichetti (tapas-like snacks) as they stand at the bar. This guidebook includes: richly anecdotal text and fascinating interviews with the owners; stunning photography that beautifully evokes the city, its neighborhoods, and bacaro; and, carefully chosen establishments sprinkled throughout the sestieri of Venice to help you refuel during your wanderings.

Vivian Howard, a TV Chef, Offers Hope for Her Rural Hometown


Vivian Howard, who spent her childhood plotting an escape from her rural eastern North Carolina county, has become an unlikely engine in its economic and cultural revival.CreditDillon Deaton for The New York Times

KINSTON, N.C. — Just before Christmas, in the soup kitchen that serves this small town built on tobacco, textiles, and hogs, the chef and cooking show star Vivian Howard finished stirring a pot of pork and sweet potato stew and turned to a local television reporter.

How does it feel, the reporter asked, to know that she had saved her hometown?

“If I had saved Kinston,“ she replied, “we wouldn’t need a food bank, and all these people wouldn’t be waiting for lunch.”

Ms. Howard, 38, has been called many things. Her mother calls her the life of the party. Her father calls her Big Time, a nickname from her childhood. A few of the 80 people she employs call her a control freak. But “hometown hero” may be the label that makes her most uncomfortable.

“Saving a town was not what I was trying to do,” she said. “I’m just a storyteller. A storyteller who cooks.”

Still, Ms. Howard, the girl who spent her childhood plotting an escape from this rural eastern North Carolina county, has become an unlikely engine in its economic and cultural revival.


Come vist Eastern NC. Come explore a simpler existence where living serves its own purpose. Make a reservation at Chef and the Farmer or…

Terry Larsen

I am a fan of the show and a home cook and a sometimes blogger. I moved to NC from New England. I love learning about the food of Eastern…


Lets get real critics. You’re being rather hypocritical. Before you criticize others, ask yourself why you haven’t done more to help the…


Twelve years ago, when her family talked her into coming home to open a restaurant, she thought that somehow she had failed. Now, Ms. Howard is five seasons into “A Chef’s Life,” her popular public television show. Her restaurant, Chef & the Farmer, attracts talent from the best professional kitchens in the South; traveling food celebrities drop by to learn about the region. New restaurants, galleries and a brewery have come to town. The lady who taught her how to make biscuits can charge tourists $100 for a private lesson.

NYT FoodChefsFollow On

At first glance, the show seems an unlikely hit: a slow-rolling half-hour about running a restaurant, managing a family and how best to cook regional specialties like cabbage collards or flounder caught from the nearby Atlantic, or seasoning meat coaxed from the jowls and tails of pigs. Guests include the guy at the fish store, the neighbors who make collard kraut, and the farmer who sells the restaurant its vegetables.

But to many of the show’s three million fans, and to the guests who travel hundreds of miles to eat at her restaurant, Ms. Howard is a rural Princess Leia. In the wake of an election that laid bare the nation’s political, cultural and economic divisions, her life has a particular resonance with the kind of people who see her story as theirs.

“What I came to realize was that much of rural America feels forgotten and misunderstood and, frankly, hopeless,” Ms. Howard said. “Urban folks are afraid of rural folks, and rural folks are afraid of urban folks. On our show, we try to bridge the gap.”

She and her team paid for the first season, which aired in 2013, with a crowdsourcing campaign and a little money from organizations like the North Carolina Pork Council, Blue Cross Blue Shield and a group of civic leaders. The show was something of a Hail Mary pass for a region trying to find something to replace tobacco production and factory work.

“I like to call it more like ‘Waiting for Guffman,’” said Ben Knight, 40, Ms. Howard’s husband and the restaurant’s manager, who enjoys his own celebrity status among fans.

The show caught on, winning a Peabody Award and a daytime Emmy. Sponsorship is so robust that they can afford to pay some of the local residents who appear as guests.


Damage in Deep Run, N.C., from the floodwaters of Hurricane Matthew last October.CreditDillon Deaton for The New York Times

On about any weekend night, most of the 220 diners who land a seat at her restaurant will be from somewhere else. Her parents, John and Scarlett, are regulars. After they eat, they’ll take a spin through the parking to count the out-of-state license plates.

“It’s the darn craziest thing I have ever seen,” John Howard said. “People will drive 300 miles for a meal.” (As one of the state’s largest commodity hog producers, he also can’t believe the price his daughter pays for local, pasture-raised pork.)

On a recent night, Sarah Reichard, 35, arrived for dinner with her husband, Mitch MacDougall, 34. The vacationing Maryland couple had brought a copy of Ms. Howard’s best-selling new book, “Deep Run Roots,” neatly annotated, with sticky notes marking their favorite recipes. At 564 pages, the book is both an important catalog of the unique cooking style of coastal North Carolina and a record of the emotional journey of a young woman who grew up feeling disenfranchised and ashamed of her people.

Ms. Reichard, who was raised in a small Pennsylvania town, trembled as she spoke with Ms. Howard. “She talks about things I feel all the time,” she said. “I hate where I’m from, too.”

From as early as she can remember, Ms. Howard had wanted to get out of Deep Run, the slip of a community near Kinston where she was born. She was in boarding school by 14, then headed to North Carolina State, where she dreamed of becoming a journalist. She moved to New York, burned out at an advertising agency, and stumbled into a waitressing job at Voyage, a globally influenced Southern-style restaurant in the West Village.

There, she fell in love with a co-worker, Mr. Knight, 40, an artist who paints large abstract works with glossy acrylics. She attended the Institute of Culinary Education, interned at Wylie Dufresne’s WD-50, and cooked on the line at Jean-Georges Vongerichten’s Spice Market.


Ms. Howard’s restaurant, Chef & the Farmer, attracts talent from the best professional kitchens in the South; traveling food celebrities drop by to learn about the region. CreditDillon Deaton for The New York Times

The couple were selling soup from their Harlem apartment when her brother-in-law asked them to come home to Kinston and open a restaurant in the building he had bought in the faded downtown district.

They moved in 2005, happy to be out of New York, living rent-free and child-free in a little house on the river that her father calls his nap shack, and finding their way in the community.

Still, the economic reality was grim. Hurricane Floyd had ravaged the region six years earlier. The tobacco warehouses and shirt factories had long been shut down, and the DuPont polyester plant was a shadow of its former self. “Everyone here had an excuse for why they hadn’t left yet,” Ms. Howard said. “I was like, ‘I should be ashamed of this place, too.”


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In what seemed to many a foolish move, they opened Chef & the Farmer. At first, they served fancy city food. She remembers the day her sister pointed out that three of the four desserts had vegetables in them, and that didn’t mean carrot cake.

“I was cooking down to people,” Ms. Howard said. “I didn’t feel like these people had anything to teach me.”

She decided to embrace the local dishes she had grown up eating. She could elevate the wild muscadine grapes, the slow-simmered butter beans and the “tom thumbs” — air-dried pork sausages whose casings are made from pig appendixes. In the process, she elevated herself. She came to consider the people in her town as guides to a stronger, simpler way of living.

Vivian Howard Makes a North Carolina Classic

CreditDillon Deaton for The New York Times

Buoyed by the increased interest in Southern cooking and a few good mentions in the regional press, she persuaded the documentary filmmaker Cynthia Hill to make a TV show. Ms. Hill had grown up seven miles away from Ms. Howard, and she understood the desire to leave a place and then come home again.

“Initially, I think she was just trying to save herself,” Ms. Hill said. “In the process, she is saving a lot of people.”

The show has started a sort of renaissance in the town, where a local investor has opened a boutique hotel and the well-regarded Mother Earth brewing company and taproom. Storefronts are being refurbished. The couple has opened an oyster bar and burger joint called the Boiler Room across the alley, and are planning a bakery.

“I don’t think she realized this was all going to happen, but right now she’s the hometown girl that made good and came back, which gives her some cachet,” said Bill Smith, a chef and Southern food authority who grew up in the area. Mr. Smith appeared on a recent holiday special, helping Ms. Howard and her neighbors kill a pig and make corned ham from it.

Not everyone, however, is entirely enamored of the food. Grayson Haver Currin, until recently a longtime editor at Indy Week, an alternative paper published in the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill triangle, thinks chefs like Sean Brock in Charleston, S.C., and Ashley Christensen in Raleigh do a better job interpreting the traditional Southern culinary canon for modern eaters.

“That said, in Kinston it’s kind of eye-popping that food like that exists,” Mr. Currin said. “The story of that family and what they’ve accomplished in small-town, postindustrial America is fascinating. But it’s a slow process and it’s a limited process. No matter how many $20-a-plate restaurants you put in that town, you can’t change the economics and racial realities.”


Ms. Howard on her father’s farm in Deep Run, where she spent her young childhood.CreditDillon Deaton for The New York Times

The average annual income in Lenoir County, which has about 58,000 people, is $20,191. In Kinston, the county’s most populous community, almost 70 percent of the residents are black, while most of its elected leadership is white. At the fish store and the Piggly Wiggly, black customers didn’t seem to know about Ms. Howard’s show or her restaurant. The managers, who were white, did.

The region’s troubles only got worse in October, when floodwaters brought on by Hurricane Matthew devastated the community. Four died, bridges were washed away, and roads were closed for weeks. Four of the six hotels in the town flooded, and more than 3,200 people applied for help from the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

Ms. Howard was on her book tour when the hurricane hit Kinston. Her marketing plan was to tour 24 cities in a tricked-out food truck. For $50, people got a book and a simple supper, like a bowl of eastern North Carolina fish stew and eggs, built from chunks of fish layered with potatoes and onions and flavored with onions, tomato paste and chile flakes.

All but one event sold out. Fans lined up to tell Ms. Howard about their mothers who, like hers, suffer from rheumatoid arthritis. Ms. Howard’s young twins are sometimes on the show, which led to a parade of parents eager to discuss their own twins. Chelsie and Jono Brymer, a young couple from Trenton, Mich., drove to Chicago just to see her. They, too, had moved back home, to a struggling former steel town, to open a little French cafe called Promenade Artisan Foods.

“We watched the show and realized we were not the only ones who ask ourselves if we were crazy to do it,” Ms. Brymer said.

By the time she returned home, Ms. Howard was exhausted. From the road, she had organized a statewide fish stew fund-raiser for flood victims that raised more than $30,000. She had shaken hands with so many strangers that she felt like a politician. She had seen her 5-year-old twins, Florence and Theodore, maybe four times during the tour.

Ms. Howard vowed to stay home more, tending both to the children and to the restaurant in a more balanced way. There would be no more T-shirts with her face on them, and less energy spent on expanding her line of sauces and rubs. And Ms. Howard is changing the show, now shooting its fifth season. It will still be set in eastern North Carolina, but it will shift the focus to the people in her life who cook food from other cultures.

“There’s only one of me,” she said, “and I have to decide what I want to do.”

Recipe: Eastern North Carolina Fish Stew

A version of this article appears in print on January 18, 2017, on Page D1 of the New York edition with the headline: A Chef Looks Homeward. Order Reprints| Today’s Paper|Subscribe

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Everywhere You Can Get Cookie Deals Today for National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day

It’s hard to argue with a day that celebrates cookies.

By Dustin Nelson

Updated on 8/4/2020 at 5:06 PM


There are more important things in the world than cookies. There’s always something more important that a cookie. But a cookie remains a pretty amazing thing. Just look at DoubleTree’s cookies to see what a wholesome reaction a cookie gets. You’re paying for a hotel room and everything that comes with it, but people still talk about the cookie they get when they stay at one of the hotels.

On August 4, you get a whole day to celebrate the warm fuzzies that wash over you when you eat a cookie. It’s National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, and you can grab a cookie for a song in honor of the holiday. You’ll find treats coming from places like Mrs. Fields, Corner Bakery, and more.

Here’s our running list of the best National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day deals:

Free Cookies for National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day

Corner Bakery Cafe
The deal: To celebrate National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day, stop into a Corner Bakery for a free Chocolate Chip Cookie or Monster Cookie. You don’t have to buy anything. You could just get yourself a cookie. So, you’ve got that going for you.
When: August 4

BJ’s Restaurant & Brewhouse
The deal: Place an order of $9.95 or more and get a free Pizzokie — that’s a portmanteau of pizza and cookie — when you use the code “PIZOOKIE.”
When: Ongoing

BJ’s Brewhouse & Restaurant
The deal: Join the Premier Rewards Plus program, and the chain will hook you up with a free Pizookie. (That’s a deep-dish-inspired cookie if it wasn’t immediately clear from the weird portmanteau.) Bonus: You’ll get another free Pizookie on your birthday.
When: Ongoing

The Famous 4th Street Cookie Company
The deal: Snag a free box of six colossal chocolate chip cookies with any online purchase of at least $25. Plus, 15% of all online sales are going to be donated to the Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Philadelphia Region.
When: Through August 7


Cookie Deals for National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day

Ike’s Love & Sandwiches
The deal: Ike’s is celebrating Chocolate Chip Cookie Day with — [checks notes twice] — a “I did it all for the cookie” sandwich. It’s a sandwich with a salted caramel chocolate chip cookie, Nutella, and “secret butter sauce” between slices of Dutch Crunch Bread. It’ll run you five bucks.
When: August 4

Mrs. Fields
The deal: Grab 20% off eligible items with the code “CHIP20.”
When: Through August 15

The deal: The company that uses all-natural ingredients is offering two free chocolate chip cookies for National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day as long as you hit the $40 minimum in its online store.
When: August 4-7

The deal: Get double loyalty points on any order through the Yoshinoya app that includes a chocolate chip cookie.
When: Through August 9

The deal: You went there to feel healthy, but you can totally walk away with cookies instead. You’ll get 25 bonus points today if your order contains a chocolate chip cookie.
When: August 4

The deal: The familiar grocery store cookie people are hosting a giveaway. Normally, that’d sound like trying to win the lottery. However, 10,000 people are going to win a free box of Little Bites Soft Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies. Enter at the link above.
When: Enter through August 27

Local Deals on National Chocolate Chip Cookies Day

101 North Eatery & Bar – Westlake Village, California
The deal: Get a DIY Homemade Organic Chocolate Chip Cookie Kit for $15. It comes with all the ingredients you need in the right proportions.
When: Ongoing

The Famous 4th Street Cookie Company – Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The deal: Get the Famous shop’s Famous Chocolate Chip Cookies for a buck at the Reading Terminal Market and Ridge Avenue Bakery locations. You can get the dollar cookies for delivery through UberEats, Grubhub, and Mercato as well. All proceeds of dollar cookies sold in Philly will be donated to the Ronald McDonald House Charities of the Philadelphia Region.
When: August 3-4

Other Deals on Treats for National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day

Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams
The deal: If you order at least four pints of ice cream, you can get free delivery when you order through the Jeni’s website. Orders through Postmates will not get the same deal.
When: Ongoing

Burger King
The deal: Nab a $1 mini shake at the drive-thru.
When: Only for a little while

The deal: When you download the Baskin-Robbins app for the first time, you get a free regular-sized scoop as an in-app offer.
When: Ongoing

The deal: When you order through DoorDash you can get $0 delivery fees on any order of at least $15 with the code “BASKIN.”
When: Ongoing

The deal: Buy any single-serve So Delicious ice cream through Instacart to get $1 off when you buy one or $1.50 off when you buy two.
When: Through September 27

Cold Stone Creamery
The deal: If you’re new to My Cold Stone Club Rewards you’ll get a buy-one-get-one-free coupon on Creations.
When: Ongoing

Did we miss any?

If we missed something that should be featured here, hit us up with an email at [email protected], and we might include it here.

Want More Free Food?

Here’s our huuuuuuuge running list of all the free food you can get right now, as well as the best reward programsbirthday freebiesgift card offersdeals on food for kidsfood delivery, and alcohol delivery deals you’ll find. If you want a little more than, say a free taco, we also have you covered with a long list of meals you can get at fast food chains under $5. You’re welcome.

Additionally, we’ve put together a list of places offering free food to healthcare workers and first responders during the COVID-19 outbreak.

Sign up here for our daily Thrillist email and subscribe here for our YouTube channel to get your fix of the best in food/drink/fun.

Dustin Nelson is a Senior Staff Writer at Thrillist. Follow him @dlukenelson.

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